[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ admin_label=”Header” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ background_color=”#f2f5ff” use_background_color_gradient=”on” background_color_gradient_direction=”172deg” background_color_gradient_stops=”#fdc6f2 0%|#4DB9FF 100%” background_color_gradient_start=”#fdc6f2″ background_color_gradient_end=”#4DB9FF” background_image=”https:\/\/laughingtshirts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/candy-shop-38-1.png” background_position=”bottom_center” custom_padding=”||0vw|||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ text_font=”||||||||” header_font=”||||||||” header_2_font=”Concert One|700||on|||||” header_2_text_color=”#ffffff” header_2_font_size=”140px” custom_margin_phone=”|0px||” custom_margin_last_edited=”off|desktop” header_2_font_size_tablet=”80px” header_2_font_size_phone=”56px” header_2_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” header_2_text_shadow_style=”preset1″ header_2_text_shadow_horizontal_length=”0.04em” header_2_text_shadow_vertical_length=”0.14em” header_2_text_shadow_blur_strength=”0.33em” header_2_text_shadow_color=”rgba(10,45,97,0.16)” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ text_font=”||||||||” header_font=”Concert One||||||||” header_text_color=”#0a2d61″ header_font_size=”80px” header_letter_spacing=”-3px” max_width=”700px” custom_margin=”-84px||” custom_margin_tablet=”-30px||” custom_margin_phone=”” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|desktop” header_font_size_tablet=”60px” header_font_size_phone=”40px” header_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row custom_padding_last_edited=”on|phone” _builder_version=”4.16″ background_color=”#ffffff” custom_padding=”60px|60px|60px|60px|true|true” custom_padding_tablet=”” custom_padding_phone=”20px|20px|20px|20px|true|true” border_radii=”on|20px|20px|20px|20px” box_shadow_style=”preset1″ box_shadow_horizontal=”20px” box_shadow_vertical=”40px” box_shadow_blur=”90px” box_shadow_color=”rgba(10,45,97,0.1)” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_tabs _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_tab title=”Classic Bad Jokes” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n
Why don\u2019t skeletons fight each other? They don\u2019t have the guts.<\/p>\n
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.<\/p>\n
What do you call cheese that isn\u2019t yours? Nacho cheese.<\/p>\n
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.<\/p>\n
Parallel lines have so much in common. It\u2019s a shame they\u2019ll never meet.<\/p>\n
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of socks? In case he got a hole in one.<\/p>\n
What do you call a fish wearing a tuxedo? Sofishticated.<\/p>\n
What\u2019s brown and sticky? A stick.<\/p>\n
I invented a new word: plagiarism.<\/p>\n
Why don\u2019t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.<\/p>\n
What\u2019s a pig\u2019s favorite karate move? The pork chop.<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_tab][et_pb_tab title=”Bad One-Liners” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.<\/p>\n
I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger… then it hit me.<\/p>\n
I used to be a kleptomaniac, but I\u2019m taking something for it now.<\/p>\n
I used to be addicted to soap, but I got clean.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.<\/p>\n
The rotation of the earth really makes my day.<\/p>\n
I told my suitcase there would be no vacation this year. Now I\u2019m dealing with emotional baggage.<\/p>\n
What do you call a can opener that doesn\u2019t work? A can\u2019t opener.<\/p>\n
My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t trust stairs. They\u2019re always up to something.[\/et_pb_tab][et_pb_tab title=”Cringey Dad Jokes” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.<\/p>\n
Want to hear a construction joke? I\u2019m still working on it.<\/p>\n
I ordered a chicken and an egg from the internet. I\u2019ll let you know.<\/p>\n
What do you call a factory that makes meh stuff? A satisfactory.<\/p>\n
I used to hate facial hair \u2014 but after a while, it grew on me.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.<\/p>\n
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.<\/p>\n
Why don\u2019t oysters donate to charity? Because they\u2019re shellfish.<\/p>\n
Singing in the shower is fun until the shampoo gets in your mouth… then it\u2019s a soap opera.<\/p>\n
Why did the stadium get hot after the concert? All the fans went home.<\/p>\n
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.<\/p>\n
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.<\/p>\n
Why don\u2019t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don\u2019t work out.<\/p>\n
Why did the man get hit by a bike every day? He was stuck in a vicious cycle.[\/et_pb_tab][et_pb_tab title=”Animal-Themed Bad Jokes” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.<\/p>\n
What\u2019s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.<\/p>\n
Why did the crab never share his food? Because he was shellfish.<\/p>\n
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.<\/p>\n
Why can\u2019t you trust ducks? They\u2019re always quacking jokes.<\/p>\n
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.<\/p>\n
Why did the horse go behind the tree? To change his jockeys.<\/p>\n
Why don\u2019t cats play poker in the jungle? There are too many cheetahs.<\/p>\n
What\u2019s a pig\u2019s favorite karate move? The pork chop.<\/p>\n
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.<\/p>\n
What did the dog say when he sat on steel wool? \u201cRuff!\u201d[\/et_pb_tab][et_pb_tab title=”Bad Puns” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n
I once got into a fight with a broken elevator \u2014 it was just wrong on so many levels.<\/p>\n
I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn\u2019t like it.<\/p>\n
I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I\u2019m just doing it for kicks.<\/p>\n
I\u2019d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn\u2019t get a reaction.<\/p>\n
I wanted to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.<\/p>\n
I once got into a fight with a broken elevator. I took it to another level.<\/p>\n
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don\u2019t know y.<\/p>\n
I once wrote a song about a tortilla\u2026 but it was more of a wrap.<\/p>\n
I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I\u2019m OK, but I feel like I\u2019ve dyed a little inside.<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_tab][et_pb_tab title=”Short Bad Jokes for Kids” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.<\/p>\n
Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn\u2019t peeling well.<\/p>\n
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.<\/p>\n
What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.<\/p>\n
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine.<\/p>\n
What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.<\/p>\n
Why can\u2019t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she\u2019ll let it go.<\/p>\n
Why don\u2019t eggs tell jokes? They\u2019d crack each other up.<\/p>\n
Why did the student get hungry? Because the teacher told him homework was a piece of cake.<\/p>\n
What\u2019s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.[\/et_pb_tab][et_pb_tab title=”Bad Knock-Knock Jokes” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]<\/p>\n
Knock knock. Who\u2019s there? Atch. Atch who? Bless you!<\/p>\n
Knock knock. Who\u2019s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it\u2019s cold out here!<\/p>\n
Knock knock. Who\u2019s there? Tank. Tank who? You\u2019re welcome!<\/p>\n
Knock knock. Who\u2019s there? Boo. Boo who? Aw, don\u2019t cry \u2014 it\u2019s just a joke!<\/p>\n
Knock knock. Who\u2019s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you and I miss you!<\/p>\n
Knock knock. Who\u2019s there? Canoe. Canoe who? Canoe come out and play?<\/p>\n
Knock knock. Who\u2019s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and answer the door!<\/p>\n
Knock knock. Who\u2019s there? Alpaca. Alpaca who? Alpaca the suitcase \u2014 you load the car!<\/p>\n
Knock knock. Who\u2019s there? Nobel. Nobel who? No bell, that\u2019s why I\u2019m knocking!<\/p>\n
Knock knock. Who\u2019s there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes the police, open up!<\/p>\n
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